Become the Change You Desire

I know for many years that I have caused great heartache, I was undependable and lived to die rather than live to be. It’s taken many years, a lot of time and prayer, and desire to be close to my Father and seek what His heart desire is for me. To do that, I have had to seek forgiveness and embrace my flaws. Knowing that there is a place of temptation waiting for me to give into the weakness that steers humanity. And I know I am imperfect, and I have caused much turmoil, but I can also say that I have changed, I love to live and seek all of the things that my Spirit needs to learn and grow so that I may help others who have been lost and in pain. Give meaning to those who have felt emptiness, and a light for a dark road on their Journey. But I need to be encouraged as well, accepted as a person anew and a far cry from the girl who caged her own Spirit. I love all of my family, I am your friend, your sister, your daughter, your aunt, your Mother and your wife. I just ask for all of you to give me the freedom from the cage I used to lock myself in, and your Belief in watching me while I fly. And for my mistakes, I am asking for the Grace to understand and forgive my faults , and know they have become new lessons for me to behold. Xo

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Become the Change You Desire

I know for many years that I have caused great heartache, I was undependable and lived to die rather than live to be. It’s taken many years, a lot of time and prayer, and desire to be close to my Father and seek what His heart desire is for me. To do that, I have had to seek forgiveness and embrace my flaws. Knowing that there is a place of temptation waiting for me to give into the weakness that steers humanity. And I know I am imperfect, and I have caused much turmoil, but I can also say that I have changed, I love to live and seek all of the things that my Spirit needs to learn and grow so that I may help others who have been lost and in pain. Give meaning to those who have felt emptiness, and a light for a dark road on their Journey. But I need to be encouraged as well, accepted as a person anew and a far cry from the girl who caged her own Spirit. I love all of my family, I am your friend, your sister, your daughter, your aunt, your Mother and your wife. I just ask for all of you to give me the freedom from the cage I used to lock myself in, and your Belief in watching me while I fly. And for my mistakes, I am asking for the Grace to understand and forgive my faults , and know they have become new lessons for me to behold. Xo

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A Mother’s Heart

Times have changed, there are moments when I ponder if it’s the convenience of recognizing this because of unending sources of technology, or is it as simple as it sounds. In stating this, it has been within a very recent situation, that time is a very flexible word and point for a beginning of any type of transition. 7 years ago I had my Son and my heart grew a thousand sizes, and unconditional was no longer a word but my battle cry. 5 years ago I began to grow wings, as I had my daughter and the awareness that I could fall in love with two different children, with the same amount of passion and awe for their individual Spirits. I stopped believing I could, and just did. They have never had a limitation in my heart, there could never be a cost too great, just so I could make sure that I see them smile. And although I may become quite unpopular in their eyes, I’m convicted, that one day, they will only be able to see that I have loved them enough to know, that they couldn’t decide until they, without compromise, could love themselves.

But I am only one parent, they still have another.

It truly is a modern-day fairytale, when a home consists of two loving and communicative adults, where they respect one another and are a united front for their Family, through and through. It is almost a modern-day commodity, that we often witness a split Family situation, where children are trying to be sold the idea of 2 Christmases, birthday’s, Easter’s and Thanksgiving. And sadly, in most cases, when their children are out of sight, the opposing parents have their gloves out, trying to reinforce what is right or wrong, without natural order and understanding helping to guide the way. Many times a 3rd party will come in, and instead of supporting a healthy, open and loving co-parenting situation, they combust from their insecurities and begin to maim their partner for their own desires.

Leaving the children gasping for nurturing care.

In my own situation, there has never been a price tag on my children, that could perhaps sway my decisions one way or another. Nothing could take place of their deserved happiness and comfort. Not only do I encourage them to be truthful and direct, I also encourage them to love and respect their Father and his chosen partner and family included. There have been times when information has been passed on to me that has definitely overridden my belief system, and left standing, feeling defensive. Instead, upon the reception of these unwanted pieces of knowledge in opposite fashion, it caused me to weep, love my children more, and to reinforce that each individual in the World is different, and that the only thing that will let you see the difference is your uncompromising heart and ability to practise unconditional love with set personal boundaries.

As of late I have been focusing on my parental lessons to my children:) Spite has been in my heart, and the sound of injustice reverberating in the air. I have wanted to react-but have stopped myself. You see, if I react, it will only reproduce more ammunition to be loaded into to this cannon of subterfuge created by the other party. The only way that I have come to know a positive action that can only produce emotional productivity, is to teach my children to express themselves in Truth, if they are to fight, they fight for equality and Justice, and if they are silent, to be silent in the arms of Who has Created them to be the brilliant light and Hope for the future to embrace.

I believe it will always hurt, as no one would want to argue about their children as we should always be arguing for their positive vitality. I know in my deepest conviction, that it is more important to focus on their positive stability and growth, and that the worry I have watching them be personified by a dollar sign, will never add stress, because they are too busy changing the World around them.

Love your children today, and every second of every moment that passes, they truly are our greatest Gifts to a progressive future.

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You can actually change the World

I remember as a young child I literally thought I could fly. I was 5 at the time when I believed that I received an incredible epiphany that would prove to the ‘naysayers’ of the World, that Human flight WAS possible, and without any aid but personal Faith. We lived down the road from my Grandfather, and he had steps leading up to his front door. I realized that each time I moved up a step, I was suspended in air, even if it was just by a sliver longer! I cannot recall the exact amount of steps, but minute, I think 4 tops, and to an adult they could be climbed in 2 hops but to a child-well-they were each their own personal galaxy that belonged to the Universe below.

I did hurt myself, but I saw it as a souvenir and a reminder of what I believed I was accomplishing. The greatest part, is that I had never really shared this Supernatural Gift and Discovery I had made, because I wasn’t afraid that the adults around wouldn’t believe in me, I didn’t tell them because I felt it was too impossible for them to believe.

I grew older, learned a bit about the force of gravity,  not a lot, but just enough to have a new realization dawn upon me, up to that point in my Life, I really did not fly. Even today, I still have that spark of amazement that, somehow, we as humans can fly,…I still haven’t figured it out yet. Rather than cry and feel as though I had been living in a self made facade of impossible fantasies, I laughed at myself, giggled at my reasoning for not telling adults. The sub-conscious reality broke through, and I knew they would have explained why my Theory was impossible, very creative and whimsicle!…but, impossible.

And then I grew some more, my emotions became dark, and rather than shooting for the stars, I was desparately trying to find a way to spiral downward. I wanted to take myself away from a World that would not allow a person to not only believe in their Dreams, but that they wanted to make your Dreams part of an institution that would decide your Fate based on your social acceptance, academic ability, your materialistic portfolio, and your physical beauty and ‘normalcy’. This may sound dramatic, but at the time, so were my hormones, and was finding it a major disability to place myself where I belonged.

It was then that it became so evident and apparent, it wasn’t unrealistic or even arguable, I belonged with Me. With this realization I didn’t have to be right anymore, because being wrong no longer meant ‘less than’, instead uninformed. I turned my ignorance and frustration into passion for understanding, to have compassion for anything lost, and acceptance for everything found. Acceptance for the Truth of my new awareness, and Humility to know the difference between my Ego and my Being.

With a welling of Self-Love, unconditional Love for all of those around me, and the Divine Blessing of Intended Peace, I realized that once more I could fly again. I have no age, I haven’t any strongholds, my sins are no longer my limitations but challenges to become more pure. By choosing to allow my transgressions to fall and my perception become anew, I came back to Flight from fight, and it was in this simple choice, it really did change my World.

If you want the World to change because you can’t see anything promising in it, look into the mirror and not at your reflection. Look into your eyes, and see what chaos is in your Soul, know enough that you were born to be free from it, and choose to allow yourself the chance at one day taking your very own flight.

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